Do something that scares you.

Handmade Cosmetics

Tomorrow I launch my line of handmade cosmetics, coincidentally branded Home & Grace. I have absolutely no idea if I’m going to make any money or if the people who do buy my products will like them. Basically, I am terrified. It’s hard to put myself out there in this way and have no guarantee it will be worth my time, money and energy.

But there’s beauty in the risk. Continue reading

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When being a responsible adult looks irresponsible


This was written on April 4th, 2013 in a coffee shop in Ottawa shortly before we left for Oregon.

Today I wrote a check that will clear out all our savings and leave us with just enough money to get through until the next paycheck, which will be in June. Maybe.

I’m all about saving money for a rainy day or an emergency and living as far below your means as possible. You know, responsible adult stuff. I  budget, get regular check-ups, serve at my church and teach my kids manners. This makes me a responsible adult, right? Continue reading


The story of Alistair’s birth

Like most good stories, Alistair’s birth story needs context. It actually begins with the birth of his sister, Audrey.  If you want to read Audrey’s full birth story, it’s posted before this one but here’s the short version: Early on in labor her heart rate dropped drastically with each contraction. I was immediately sent in for a C-section. While I was happy my daughter arrived healthy and safe, I mourned not delivering her vaginally. I had prepared for and anticipated a natural birth and a C-section derailed me. Fifteen-months later I was pregnant again and determined to do everything in my power to have a vaginal birth after cesarian (VBAC).

Most of my friend’s birth stories go something like this: Around my due date they felt weird, contractions started and got regular, increased in intensity, they pushed, they had a baby.

Wow. That must be nice. As my midwife put it after Alistair was born, ‘You have interesting births’.

photo-6 Continue reading


The story of Audrey’s birth

Sometimes the most unlikely circumstance turns out to be exactly right. That was the case for Ryan and I when we found ourselves unexpectedly pregnant a year after moving to Hungary to teach English. After deliberating where to have our baby, we decided to stay in Hungary. I had full medical coverage and we had a community of Hungarian friends willing to support us and the blessing of our parents. The pregnancy was smooth and at every ultrasound my doctor described our growing daughter as ‘perfect’ and ‘beautiful’. Just what every expectant mother wants to hear.

At church eleven days before the due date, our pastor prayed for us. We joked with friends after the service that labor could start any time. I didn’t anticipate giving birth any time soon but it was fun to think that it was coming. Continue reading

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Creating Art

I’m linking-up with Emily Freeman at Chatting at the Sky for her 31 Days of Living Art series. She’s a fantastic woman and writer – you should check her out. You will be blessed!

ImageMaking art is hard. Putting it out there for others to see is even harder. Emily’s words have encouraged me as I test the waters of writing and blogging. She reminds me that as God’s creation I am meant to make art and he is glorified as I work to form thoughts and sentences. Yes, my art isn’t as outstanding as other’s but that’s not the point. God’s grace is there in the process and I find him in it. I need to let myself loose and and boldly create. So I write and do my very best to be satisfied that I am pleasing my Creator, and maybe encouraging a few people as well.

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Accepting the journey

I give up photo

Last week we got an email that laid out a good option for Ryan’s internship. We’ve known about this possibility for a while so it wasn’t a surprise in-and-of itself but it nailed down which country we will live in. There’s still a million seemingly impossible things that have to fall into place before it’s certain so it’s very much so still up in the air. Despite the excitement and anticipation I feel about moving abroad again, my emotions and thoughts are in check. I’m not planning itineraries or making ‘to-do’ lists (which is pretty incredible for me). It’s partially because I’m hesitant to think it will work out but mostly because little by little God is teaching me to give my plans and desires to him and accept the path he is leading me on.

But I don’t always like it. I often tire of the wait and the not knowing. Since we made our wedding vows Ryan and I have gone from temporary to temporary, each time I hope the next move will be permanent. But that long anticipated, much desired stability keeps getting pushed back. And back and back and back to the point where I despair of ever living somewhere for more than a handful of years (and that’s being optimistic). I lament to God and shake my fists at the sky. Continue reading