Enjoy it while it lasts

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Recently a friend told me she is in love. Like, butterflies in her stomach, day-dreamy, all consuming love.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Woah. . . was that actually my first thought? Did I really respond that way?

Yes, yes I did. And you know what? I don’t think it was wrong.

It doesn’t last. I can’t tell you the last time I got butterflies in my stomach when I looked at Ryan and his palms haven’t gotten sweaty holding my hand in years. We’re past that. The passion we experienced when dating and as newlyweds is a shadow of what it once was. Yes, it’s still there keeping things fun but it’s being replaced by something else.

Something better.

Something deeper.

It reveals who we truly are, who the other truly is. It shows us that we can impact this world and the people closest to us. It whispers to us that we are good parents and we can raise excellent children. It demands that we give our everything for the other.

This is the heart of love. This love is where rubber meets the road. This is where a worthwhile marriage is fought for and earned.

We’ve learned a lot in our six years of marriage. Mostly we’re learning how to become one. Each challenge, each triumph knits our souls together in ways I didn’t fully expect when I made my vows. It’s beautiful. Hard, but beautiful.

Love begins with an emotional high. And it’s wonderful. A married friend responded to my love-struck friend this way: ‘Soak it all in. Falling in love is a glorious experience’. I couldn’t agree more. It’s a special time that does come to an end. But that’s when the good stuff begins.

What does being ‘in love’ look like for you? Has it changed? How do you feel about the changes?

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4 thoughts on “Enjoy it while it lasts

  1. “It’s a special time that does come to an end. But that’s when the good stuff begins.” I’m beginning to see the beauty and the good in what we’re in now, after 2-1/2 years of marriage. Looking back, in a way I wish I could have strolled through the process of falling in love and dating. I feel like I rushed on into marriage and then marriage wasn’t quite the fairy tale I’d imagined. But I’m actually becoming more and more thankful for the season we’re in now. This is “the good stuff” you’re talking about, the journey toward being known, into self-sacrifice and humility, of sharing life. It’s hard, but it’s beautiful. And it’s good for the growth of my soul. Anyway. Thanks for writing about this, Erin. It’s a good reminder.

    • There definitely is a transition phase and I do remember it being difficult. I’m so glad you’re seeing the beauty of what’s coming. Just imagine how great it’s going to be when you’ve been married for 50 years!

      Thanks for your comment!

  2. In my 3.5 years of marriage (goodness, has it been that long?!), I’ve ended up with the funny circumstances of long distance, so I fairly recently had butterflies and tingly feelings in my stomach. Strange, but wonderful nonetheless.

    But indeed, I get what you’re saying here: I am happy to see Graeme when he returns home at the end of the day, but it isn’t a day-dreamy sort of happiness. Things just make sense between us. It is as if the rest of my life up until the recent months of marriage was a drink being shaken, and now the contents have (finally) settled.

    All of the fluffy marriage cliches feel true in my heart, which makes me happy for the changes between dating and now.

    Thanks for the post, Erin! Wonderful as always.

    • What a blessing to be reminded that even after 3.5 years of marriage your husband can still give you butterflies!

      That’s a good analogy of marriage being a drink shaken that then settles. Not as exciting, but it’s one you can actually drink and enjoy. It is a good change.

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