Last week we got an email that laid out a good option for Ryan’s internship. We’ve known about this possibility for a while so it wasn’t a surprise in-and-of itself but it nailed down which country we will live in. There’s still a million seemingly impossible things that have to fall into place before it’s certain so it’s very much so still up in the air. Despite the excitement and anticipation I feel about moving abroad again, my emotions and thoughts are in check. I’m not planning itineraries or making ‘to-do’ lists (which is pretty incredible for me). It’s partially because I’m hesitant to think it will work out but mostly because little by little God is teaching me to give my plans and desires to him and accept the path he is leading me on.

But I don’t always like it. I often tire of the wait and the not knowing. Since we made our wedding vows Ryan and I have gone from temporary to temporary, each time I hope the next move will be permanent. But that long anticipated, much desired stability keeps getting pushed back. And back and back and back to the point where I despair of ever living somewhere for more than a handful of years (and that’s being optimistic). I lament to God and shake my fists at the sky. Continue reading →